Why marriages fail or succeed? With the astonishing rise in the divorce rate, it is high time we ponder this question and rectify it before it’s too late. We have already discussed in detail in Part 1 why marriages succeed, “All the efforts that can be done to remain one…!!” In this Part, we will be focusing just on the reasons why marriages fail.
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Hop on and let’s discuss all the dreadful things that push the marriage bond of the bay.
10 Reasons Why Marriages Fail Or Succeed?
1. Infidelity
It is the top-most reason: Why do marriages fail or succeed? A spouse can bear almost everything but not infidelity.
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2. Trust Issues
If you have fallen victim to infidelity, then you must be having trust issues. Trust is like glass that, once broken, will be fixed but with cracks.
Although, the person has changed him/her totally for the sake of your love. But, whenever he/she is late from work or is busy on the phone for long, the first thought that will come to your mind will be, is he/she again cheating on me?
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This may lead to fights, grudges, and in advanced cases-A Divorce.
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If you have trust issues, then you can do the following things:
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Firstly, be always available to your spouse. If not physically, then emotionally.
Secondly, communicate properly, listen to your partner patiently, and then express yourself out loud. Remain true to your word.
Lastly, if even after doing all these things you don’t find any betterment in yourself, then take sessions with a psychologist before things worsen.
3. Jealousy-why marriages fail or succeed
It’s said that jealousy burns a person just like fire burns wood. Sometimes, the husband may get jealous or insecure seeing his wife reaching the skies.
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This emotion must be suppressed at once as it may lead to absolute marriage failure at the end of the day.
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Rather, cherish each other’s successes. Instead of bringing them down, be the pushing further to success force.
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Remember, if one of you is soaring high, so would the other half.
4. Differences in Opinion
Undoubtedly, you may get to see a number of identical twins, but it’s quite seldom that you may end up getting your “thinking twin”.
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Rather, a difference in opinion is quite healthy for a relationship, provided both parties find a way out.
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But if the differences keep on growing, then it becomes one of the leading answers to your question: Why do marriages fail or succeed?
5. Always on a Repeat Mode
It is a classic example of: “only I am right, and you are not!” You keep on repeating yourself, thinking that you are 100% correct, and not listening to the other person’s point of view. This will take you nowhere.
6. Complaints 24/7
If you will keep complaining all the time, without acknowledging the efforts the other person is putting.
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Then a time will come when your partner will turn a completely deaf ear towards you, even on serious matters that need urgent attention. This will weaken the marriage bond.
7. Cross Complaints-why marriages fail or succeed
Your spouse complains and you cross-complain. It will lead to more heated arguments.
8. Criticism
When you start attacking your partner’s personality or character and start using generalized words like “You Never…!!” or “You Always…!!” then it is called criticism. It is seldom welcomed and always takes the relationship downhill.
9. Contempt
Typically, it includes actions like mockery, name-calling, insult, hostile humor, and negative body language (sneering, eye rolls, etc.) This is something that would make the other person feel completely unworthy. If this continues for long then it ultimately means the end of a marriage.
10. Stonewalling-why marriages fail or succeed
When you constantly refuse to express your emotions or communicate with your life partner. This is mostly done to avoid a fight or uncomfortable conversations. It can momentarily cause mental peace, but in the long run, it plays havoc with the woman’s mind as she easily gets emotionally played with. It doesn’t make much of a difference to the man, though.
EndNote
These were some of the points that lead to a failed marriage. You can check out and make mental notes that where exactly you are going wrong and try to correct it.
You can also get a book by John M. Gottman titled “Why marriages succeed or fail?” He is an eminent psychologist with extensive research worth 2 decades on marriages. What works and what does not? You can easily evaluate yourself and get to know where you stand.
Even after giving your 200% in marriage, if nothing works out, then it is about time to let it go. It will hurt a lot, at the beginning. But, remember that is not the end of the world. Rather, your mental and physical health is very important.
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‘One day, someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else- Anonymous’