Jealousy is something that creeps under our skin and engulfs us with negative thoughts, insecurity, and fear after seeing something which the other person possesses and we do not have. It can result in a myriad of emotions in us, like disgust, resentment, and anger.
Jealousy is an inner consciousness of one’s own inferiority. It is mental cancer. -B. C. Forbes
This cancer cannot be treated by an even innumerable number of chemotherapy sessions. We can only hope and say get well soon for such a person.
Friendship is a surreal experience. We get family and relatives by force and friends by choice. We only fall for somebody and think about befriending him only when we click with him in all aspects. Be it understanding, the same wavelength and thought process, the same likes and dislikes, intimacy, affection, and trust.
In the beginning, a person is a stranger, but then he becomes an acquaintance. As time passes on mutual interest ground, he becomes a good friend and then ultimately a best friend.
It is proven that jealousy is a mental illness. If a person is morbidly jealous of friendships, then he must consider seeking cognitive-behavioral therapy. The doctor may prescribe him antipsychotic drugs depending on his condition.
There comes a time when jealousy slinks in the relationship because of a number of factors.
10 Reasons for Jealousy in Friendships and How to Get Rid of it
1. Low Self-Esteem
Low Self-Esteem can be corrected by stopping comparing yourself with your friends and getting jealous of them. Jealousy in friendships can only result in disaster.
2. Feeling Unattractive
We can easily sort this thing out by changing our diet plan, incorporating a healthy workout routine, changing our wardrobe, taking up a self-grooming class, and honing up some skills. There are many free courses readily available on the internet as well.
3. Poor Self Image
Sometimes we just overthink, belittling ourselves, which in reality is not the case. We are the ones who can make or break ourselves. Nobody else could. We are what picture we will portray ourselves in front of others. So, it is in our hands only to bring around the best self-image of ourselves. So, do think the best about yourselves.
4. Having Unrealistic Expectations
One of the key factors of jealousy in friendship is having unrealistic expectations from friends and if they do not reach those expectations, then right away, turning on the negative knob in oneself.
If a friend is successful in starting a new food joint, start to expect that either he will make you a business partner or will help you out in starting a new business venture yourself.
This is such an unrealistic dreamy approach towards life and it should be evaded, otherwise, it will badly affect one’s friendship.
5. Over-possessiveness
What mine is mine and could not be yours? This is the intonation that is followed by many people in friendship. Sometimes, people just think as if they own their friend. They have to do whatever, they want them to do, they have to go wherever they want them to go, they have to wear whatever they want them to wear and the list goes on and on.
If this is the case, one has to take a deep breath, step back and reconsider over-possessiveness. Put himself in the other person’s shoes and think rationally about how would it be like if such a thing was happening to him, the other way round.
Over-possessiveness can be shallowed down by giving one’s friend his much-deserved space.
6. Increased Miscommunication
Sometimes it is the miscommunication among friends which leads to jealousy in one of them. To get rid of such a messy situation, it is best for friends to sit together and talk about it all out loud. They should discuss whatever is bugging the other person, sorting a way out. They can do this in the presence of a new and mutual friend.
7. Accumulating Misunderstandings
Sometimes we misread the whole situation. To avoid jealousy in friendship, one must see to it that if some misunderstanding is growing between the two friends due to some factor or some person, they shall talk it out. Again, misunderstandings can be cleared by communicating well.
8. Not Practicing Gratitude
Give Thanks for little and you will find a lot- Hansa Proverb.
The main reason for jealousy in friendships arises when one sees that your friend has got a better car, job, spouse, or house and you start thinking, why you do not have all this?
Thanks cost nothing. Be thankful and pay gratitude to each and everything around you. Never see above yourself, see what’s below you.
9. Irrational Fear of Losing One’s Friend
Sometimes jealousy in friendship starts from having an irrational fear of losing one’s friend. If such a thing happens to you, then give some space to your friend. Distance yourself. Start doing something which interests you.
Maybe grab the book which you have been considering reading for a while or watch the TV series which everyone has been raving about. This distance will lead to the start of a new and healthy friendship.
10. Other Friends Getting Closer
At times, we start feeling jealous when two of our friends start getting closer. The reason is that they have more mutual topics of interest than you. Instead of sulking about it, it is better to start hanging out with other friends instead or even go a step ahead and make new friends, as those two friends are not the end of the world. Cherish the little time you tend to spend together instead of getting jealous.
Bottom Line
Jealousy in friendship is because of over-possessiveness, low self-esteem, thinking lowly of oneself, irrational insecurities, not practicing thankfulness, increased misunderstandings, and miscommunication, to name a few.
Jealousy only eats up your beauty. Having faith in yourself is the key to living a jealousy-free, healthy, happy, and successful life. Friendship is a beautiful relationship. Do not plague it by the jealousy mite, which will eat away everything and it will leave behind you with only despair and remorse.
In order to evade such a mishap of losing a good friend to jealousy. Do follow these 10 tips, which are explained above about the reasons for jealousy in friendships and how to get rid of them.