Success and Failure in Marriages
Why do marriages succeed or fail? Look around you and you will find a lot of marriages failing, but then there are successful marriage stories also doing rounds. What makes a marriage make or break?
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‘A marriage is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you do not go and buy a new house, you fix the light bulb.’
It should be noted, all couples are different and so is their relationship. We cannot concoct a single ‘happy marriage drink’ for all. But there are some common triggers or stimulants that result in marriages falling apart or making the bond go strong.
13 Reasons Why Marriages Succeed?
1. Law of Attraction
There are two kinds of sparks, the one that goes off with a hitch like a match, but it burns quickly. The other is the kind that needs time, but when the flame strikes…it’s eternal, don’t forget that.
Attraction is the major thing that brought you two together. After marriage, it diminishes with time. In order to keep the spark alive, you have to make some effort. Do not let those things you both felt attracted to wear off.
2. Remain Lovestruck
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person–Mignon McLaughlin
Many times, it is love at first sight that makes you sign the marriage bond to the heavens.
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Love is a selfless feeling. When you fall in love with a person, the rest of the things seem secondary. You turn a deaf ear to their flaws. In the meantime, you accentuate the good in them that you had fallen for in the first place.
3. Communicate
One of the topmost reasons why marriages succeed or fail when asked by a marriage counselor is ‘communication’.
Things Worth Consideration
- If a thing bugs you do not throw arrows in the air (or at each other), rather sit together and talk like a business. Do not point fingers at each other. Make a strict ‘No blame game will be entertained rule!’ (and stick to it).
- Catch up with each other with ‘The Daily Bulletin’ for 30 to 60 minutes every day.
- Do not throw a ‘You always do this!’ generalized statement. If some conflict arises, be specific and to the point where exactly you lost it.
- Stop mind-reading! You are not a psychic.
- Channel your negative emotions constructively. If done otherwise, this will lead to destruction.
4. Prioritize
Your top priority must be your spouse and not your friends, family, or some chore. Never cancel a plan with your spouse for somebody else. This can make a crack in the relationship.
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When you will show and make your spouse feel how important he/she is to you. This will make your marriage stronger and tighter.
5. Spend Quality Time Together
From time to time, plan some getaways with your life partner and indulge in common interests. This can be going to your favorite restaurant on a dinner date, playing your favorite game, watching a movie or binge-watching a season together, or just staring at the sky while lying side-by-side.
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Arranging for someone to babysit your kids for a couple of hours won’t hurt.
6. Highlight the Positives
If you love something that your partner did for you. Say it out aloud. Appreciation, admiration, affection, approval, and respect go a long way. This is one of the reasons why marriages succeed or fail.Â
7. Wit it out
Moreover, if being witty and cracking perfectly timed jokes is your thing, then use it as a weapon to enhance your happily married experience.
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Have you not heard that ‘A couple that laughs together, lives together?’ Do not say No, you JUST did!!:P
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Laugh out on memes, funny viral videos, comedy movies, or live standup comedy shows together.
8. The Virtual Touch
Nowadays, when the world has literally shrunk into your palm. It is better to take a minute or two out of your busy life and drop a message to your spouse on the go. This will not only bring you closer but will strengthen your marriage bond.
9. Attention to Details
In addition, while your partner is talking to you, keep your mobile or any other distracter aside and listen intently to what he/she has to tell you. Half of your marital problems will get solved because of it.
10. Shower him/her with love and praises
A new tie? Praise him!
A new lipstick shade? Praise her!
Undoubtedly, praise, appreciation, and quick one-liners make one feel good. Make them feel good!
11. Wake up on the right side of the bed
In the morning, as you wake up, cuddle your spouse for a few minutes. Top it off with a few kisses. This will wake both of you up on the right side of the bed. As ‘happy hormones’ will gush all over you!
12. Give presents
Clearly, we assign presents to birthdays or anniversaries. But you shall give a present to your spouse now and then. It must not be a perfectly wrapped gift. It could be any of his/her favorite snacks or drinks.
13. A Little Sorry Never Hurts
So, you got in a nasty fight and deep down, know that it was your fault? Then apologize right away. And if you are on the other side of the fence, then accept the apology at once. Do not drag it. Life is short. Live every second. The grudges kill your positive aura.
Stay Tuned for Part 2: Failure in Marriage